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Cart [#49283#] | Copy | Code | 2018-02-14 | Link
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(tip for people unfamiliar with PICO-8 controls: the "O" button maps to the following keyboard keys: Z, C, or N)

KITTENM4STERSOFT DEFRAG

KITTENM4STERSOFT DEFRAG is the industry-leading fantasy defragmenter for the PICO-8.

Read what customers are saying about KITTENM4STERSOFT DEFRAG:

> "It really looks like it's working!"

> "The rectangles were over there and there...but now they are all over there! Amazing!"

> "I can't stop watching. Please send help."

Let's see how the features in KITTENM4STERSOFT DEFRAG stack up when compared with Other Leading Defragmenters:

                                KITTENM4STERSOFT DEFRAG     COMPETITORS
Defrags FANTASY DISKS?                     ✓             |       X
Can be run over and over?                  ✓             |       X 
Relaxing Music while you wait?             ✓             |       X 
Screensaver Mode?                          ✓             |       X 
Inuitive One-Button Controls?              ✓             |       X 

User Experience First

Other leading defragmenters are designed with function first, giving only a passing thought to USER EXPERIENCE.

KITTENM4STERSOFT DEFRAG is revolutionizing the industry by putting user experience first!

KITTENM4STERSOFT DEFRAG is the only PICO-8 defragmenter designed for one sole purpose: to give you the luxuriously satisfying experience of watching a disk be defragmented.

WHAT DOES KITTENM4STERSOFT DEFRAG DO?

  • Removes 100% of fantasy fragments!
  • Makes you feel like you are accomplishing actual work!
  • Meticulously rearranges each file's fragments into a contiguous and sequential mass, leaving your computer—and you!—feeling whole, complete, and at peace!

Never Stops Working

Other leading defragmenters can also defragment, but once they finish running, your files are stuck there at the beginning of the drive, forcing you to wait hours, days, or even weeks until your disk is fragmented enough to defragment again to satisfying results.

Unlike other leading defragmenters which cease to provide the user with an entertaining display of ambulating rectangles once they have finished, KITTENM4STERSOFT DEFRAG creates a new FANTASY DISK each time it is run!

Menu Options

Open the PICO-8 menu (on keyboard, press RETURN or P) to access the following two optional modes:

RELAXING MUSIC

Enjoy the latest in popular music, perfectly paired with the enticing visuals to enhance your meditative experience. DEFRAGMENT YOUR MIND, BODY, AND SOUL!

SCREENSAVER MODE

Activate SCREENSAVER MODE to disable pesky dialog boxes, enabling you to sit back and enjoy an endless supply of fresh fantasy disks get defragmented with no user interaction required!

P#49180 2018-02-11 17:08 ( Edited 2018-06-09 02:05)

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But can it defragment the tattered remains of my life?

P#49190 2018-02-11 23:01

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This is the best thing.

P#49202 2018-02-12 04:11

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The satisfaction after a long defrag.
🥂🍻🍾

P#49204 2018-02-12 04:52

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Ugh. I'm getting flashbacks to 1991.

P#49210 2018-02-12 07:50

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I love the sh*t outta this. :D
Takes me back to some dark places (like "HOW LONG before I can use my 286 again?!"), but it's all good!

P#49213 2018-02-12 08:52

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That's pretty impressive.

Although if I were you, I'd put a disclaimer in the post, just in case if something goes awry with the defragmentation, someone can't sue you over it.

Anyway, my machine took only 4 minutes to defrag, probably because ext4 doesn't really fragment.

P#49230 2018-02-12 17:47

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Wow, the first time I ran it, it was like 5% fragmented and took like a minute and a half to finish, I was disappointed. Second time was 51% which was much better.

P#49231 2018-02-12 18:17

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What if an evil genius were to steal your code and write one which fragments your precious fantasy disks and makes the blocks spell rude words? You didn't think about the consequences, now, did you?

P#49243 2018-02-13 01:12 ( Edited 2018-02-13 14:48)

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Brilliant

P#49255 2018-02-13 16:21

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Apparently I'm not the only crazy one who stared at the screen while the HDD was defragmenting in the Win95/Win98 days and loving seeing all those blocks getting aligned in sequence...

... good old times of Ctrl+Alt+Del... :P

P#50940 2018-03-28 17:32

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I can't stop watching. Please send help.

P#51395 2018-04-07 22:29

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Fastest defrag ever. Amazing.

P#53406 2018-06-09 02:05

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